








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2284 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2562 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 848 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1333 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,982 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ghЯangΞ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | flower_oodi | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Velve†ThundeR | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Paw | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Bulliman - peace in pieces | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | SnappierSoap | 51% | 43 |
| #12 | HAKR | 48% | 31 |
| #13 | Makarov | 45% | 29 |
| #14 | Prius (2JZ Swap) | 42% | 19 |
| #15 | ✪ Robin | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnappierSoap | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | H1ghЯangΞ | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | t1lt.™ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | EViL mOoRTHy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | flower_oodi | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t1lt.™ | 259 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #2 | EViL mOoRTHy | 238 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | GaRRiS0N | 111 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | SnappierSoap | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ReDiX | 85 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makarov | +3.14 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | H1ghЯangΞ | +2.62 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | EViL mOoRTHy | +1.79 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Sillu | +1.72 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | SnappierSoap | +1.17 | 83 | 60 |





