








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5829 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2803 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3910 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,051 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4bidturtle | 54% | 111 |
| #2 | Willcepher | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | Chewnez | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | Nutsoquick | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | chandler9 | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4bidturtle | 54% | 111 |
| #2 | Willcepher | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | Chewnez | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | Nutsoquick | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | chandler9 | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nutsoquick | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | chandler9 | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Chewnez | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | R4bidturtle | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Willcepher | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nutsoquick | 350 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | R4bidturtle | 220 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chewnez | 180 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | chandler9 | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Willcepher | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chewnez | +4.78 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | chandler9 | +0.57 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | Willcepher | +0.24 | 44 | 52 |
| #4 | Nutsoquick | -0.86 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | R4bidturtle | -0.94 | 46 | 48 |





