








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2882 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1069 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1602 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,515 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michelin | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Panda | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | s3ph | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | FiveNein | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michelin | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Panda | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | s3ph | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | FiveNein | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | s3ph | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | FiveNein | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 150 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | s3ph | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | FiveNein | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Michelin | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s3ph | +0.55 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | Panda | +0.40 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Thiicc | -0.03 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Michelin | -2.17 | 30 | 27 |
| #5 | FiveNein | -3.91 | 42 | 42 |





