








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4979 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2466 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5544 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4956 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,667 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xTRBL | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Birthday Dawg | 52% | 92 |
| #3 | architek | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Draknar | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Mashman | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Draknar | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Mashman | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | 47IQ | TEMPO! | 46% | 271 |
| #7 | Icecube Tray | 42% | 33 |
| #8 | dRuNkeN*MoNk_36 | 40% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 47IQ | TEMPO! | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | dRuNkeN*MoNk_36 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | architek | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | xTRBL | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Birthday Dawg | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 47IQ | TEMPO! | 812 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | dRuNkeN*MoNk_36 | 455 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | architek | 209 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Birthday Dawg | 178 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mashman | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noop | +2.43 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | Birthday Dawg | +2.07 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Mashman | +0.37 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Icecube Tray | -1.08 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | architek | -1.15 | 39 | 52 |





