








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6680 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5110 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5156 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3662 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,659,920 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sullyvan | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | Hyst | 51% | 193 |
| #3 | 'Sup Bitch? | 48% | 132 |
| #4 | ✪ MakaBé | 48% | 328 |
| #5 | Lhipo | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 'Sup Bitch? | 48% | 132 |
| #4 | ✪ MakaBé | 48% | 328 |
| #5 | Lhipo | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | Plata o Plomo | 48% | 282 |
| #7 | N!ghthawK | 41% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MakaBé | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hyst | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | 'Sup Bitch? | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Plata o Plomo | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sullyvan | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plata o Plomo | 1157 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #2 | ✪ MakaBé | 926 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #3 | Hyst | 632 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | 'Sup Bitch? | 345 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Lhipo | 143 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MakaBé | +2.67 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | 'Sup Bitch? | +2.34 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Plata o Plomo | +2.16 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | sullyvan | +1.98 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | Lhipo | -0.27 | 33 | 59 |





