










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 247 | 22% |
| Smokes | 302 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,245 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561197985242024 | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Simonsen | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Jason Danger | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | SKÆTT | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Gnatte | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jason Danger | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | SKÆTT | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Gnatte | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | Tony Tony Choppa | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | repliCa | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKÆTT | 8 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Gnatte | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | repliCa | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnatte | 94 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | SKÆTT | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | repliCa | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | Simonsen | 21 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jason Danger | 18 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jason Danger | +2.81 | 70 | 53 |
| #2 | KeKsneK | +1.26 | 84 | 43 |
| #3 | Gnatte | +0.83 | 87 | 65 |
| #4 | Simonsen | -0.10 | 81 | 72 |
| #5 | Tony Tony Choppa | -0.16 | 43 | 28 |





