








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,270 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
24 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17 | 14% |
| Smokes | 27 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,900 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PersonN | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ZladanF | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Wezzy | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | R4SS3 -IWNL- | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Glimmers | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wezzy | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | R4SS3 -IWNL- | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Glimmers | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | Karran | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | PowerKing666 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glimmers | 1 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | PersonN | 1 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | PowerKing666 | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glimmers | 24 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #2 | R4SS3 -IWNL- | 17 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wezzy | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | ZladanF | 7 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | PersonN | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glimmers | +4.11 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | PersonN | +3.39 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | Wezzy | +2.43 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | R4SS3 -IWNL- | +1.72 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | PowerKing666 | -0.66 | 41 | 58 |





