








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2792 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4976 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2749 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2967 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,087 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSCH LATTE | 54% | 74 |
| #2 | Captain Kitty | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Rallan^ | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | hb | 48% | 100 |
| #5 | wolfy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSCH LATTE | 54% | 74 |
| #2 | Captain Kitty | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Rallan^ | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | hb | 48% | 100 |
| #5 | wolfy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hb | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | BUSCH LATTE | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Captain Kitty | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Rallan^ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rallan^ | 237 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | hb | 230 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | BUSCH LATTE | 216 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Captain Kitty | 134 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | wolfy | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rallan^ | +3.03 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | hb | +2.39 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | BUSCH LATTE | -0.80 | 52 | 71 |
| #4 | Darren | -0.86 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | Captain Kitty | -1.47 | 54 | 58 |





