








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 34% |
| Smokes | 759 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1027 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,638 of utility $285 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТЕРМИНАТОР ♿♿♿ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Neso | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Funky Koval | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | St0n3d BoY | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Bubbles | 54% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DONK-ster | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Neso | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | St0n3d BoY | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | 732 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #2 | St0n3d BoY | 105 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #3 | DONK-ster | 47 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Neso | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Funky Koval | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТЕРМИНАТОР ♿♿♿ | +2.87 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | CR1STu | +2.84 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Neso | +2.07 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | St0n3d BoY | +2.01 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | DONK-ster | +0.33 | 80 | 56 |





