








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2499 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2581 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1494 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,024 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ElMaco | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | Heisak | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | LaPaツ | 43% | 83 |
| #9 | TeroNuppi | 40% | 45 |
| #10 | tuikuri | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaPaツ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | ⛧Sinisteri⛧ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | TeroNuppi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Heisak | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ElMaco | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧Sinisteri⛧ | 399 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | LaPaツ | 160 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Heisak | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Heiska (unreal) | 107 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | TeroNuppi | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J3kku | +1.62 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Heisak | +1.36 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Heiska (unreal) | +1.19 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | Tomaa | +1.18 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | LeafHill™ | +0.82 | 83 | 68 |





