








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 405 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3348 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 3773 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1960 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,656,984 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1xXHelheimXx3 | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | Birkiukas | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Die Klingelfee | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1xXHelheimXx3 | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | Birkiukas | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Die Klingelfee | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Die Klingelfee | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | 1xXHelheimXx3 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Birkiukas | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1xXHelheimXx3 | 361 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | Die Klingelfee | 64 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Birkiukas | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1xXHelheimXx3 | +4.02 | 58 | 74 |
| #2 | Die Klingelfee | +0.01 | 44 | 60 |
| #3 | Birkiukas | -0.74 | 13 | 55 |
| #4 | NopEnopE | -0.88 | 29 | 58 |





