










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1815 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,195,303 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5lap | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | FritzoiD | 51% | 298 |
| #3 | Gigsn. | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | ueber3baer | 47% | 144 |
| #5 | AL/Pi | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5lap | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | FritzoiD | 51% | 298 |
| #3 | Gigsn. | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | ueber3baer | 47% | 144 |
| #5 | AL/Pi | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritzoiD | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ueber3baer | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Gigsn. | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 5lap | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | AL/Pi | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritzoiD | 340 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | 5lap | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | AL/Pi | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ueber3baer | 52 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gigsn. | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritzoiD | +1.82 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | ÄgypterGeorg | +0.80 | 59 | 38 |
| #3 | AL/Pi | -1.14 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | ueber3baer | -1.22 | 56 | 39 |
| #5 | 5lap | -1.25 | 42 | 67 |





