








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 247 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 14% |
| Smokes | 174 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 558 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 418 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,846 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LolBike. | 57% | 204 |
| #2 | wakehurst parkway | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Bakua | 51% | 207 |
| #4 | poki my beloved | 47% | 97 |
| #5 | 1337 ^2鲍勃 | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LolBike. | 57% | 204 |
| #2 | wakehurst parkway | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Bakua | 51% | 207 |
| #4 | poki my beloved | 47% | 97 |
| #5 | 1337 ^2鲍勃 | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bakua | 31 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | LolBike. | 25 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | poki my beloved | 19 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | 1337 ^2鲍勃 | 13 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | wakehurst parkway | 12 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wakehurst parkway | 211 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | LolBike. | 194 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bakua | 182 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | 1337 ^2鲍勃 | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | poki my beloved | 21 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fauv | +3.73 | 93 | 9 |
| #2 | wakehurst parkway | +2.56 | 85 | 51 |
| #3 | LolBike. | +0.65 | 73 | 29 |
| #4 | Bakua | -0.09 | 68 | 36 |
| #5 | 1337 ^2鲍勃 | -1.71 | 59 | 7 |





