








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 29% |
| Smokes | 159 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 407 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,007 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phix | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | FreeSmelly | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Binoo | 39% | 80 |
| #4 | big girthy | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phix | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | FreeSmelly | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Binoo | 39% | 80 |
| #4 | big girthy | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big girthy | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Binoo | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | FreeSmelly | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Binoo | 172 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | big girthy | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | FreeSmelly | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phix | 22 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phix | +3.19 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Binoo | +1.00 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | dudda | -0.10 | 52 | 33 |
| #4 | FreeSmelly | -1.22 | 47 | 48 |
| #5 | big girthy | -2.52 | 36 | 37 |





