








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3538 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3001 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4267 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,752 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasha | 49% | 37 |
| #2 | Nippleez | 46% | 107 |
| #3 | Fabreb | 44% | 333 |
| #4 | Paddingdong | 44% | 155 |
| #5 | Gazor | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabreb | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Paddingdong | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓾𝔁 | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Nippleez | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Brätlihauer | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabreb | 1775 | 0.26 | 44 min |
| #2 | 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓾𝔁 | 288 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Brätlihauer | 264 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gazor | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pasha | 102 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnipeTek | +3.39 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Fabreb | +2.12 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | Mister Chief | +0.55 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | Nippleez | -1.28 | 56 | 50 |
| #5 | Gazor | -2.20 | 47 | 59 |





