








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 892 matches | ||
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13955 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12216 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 15247 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9411 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,020,187 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2827 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAPREME Combat-SEAL | 78% | 58 |
| #2 | Bullet Magnet | 76% | 187 |
| #3 | ✪Ipod™ | 74% | 108 |
| #4 | DrGibbles | 73% | 193 |
| #5 | Wintergreen | 72% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullet Magnet | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | DrGibbles | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Wintergreen | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ✪Ipod™ | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | The Phoenix | 11 | 0.0063 |





