








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 5% |
| Smokes | 474 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1058 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 715 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,876 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Papi | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | ✪Stylish | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Wolfie | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | ♣Int3rcept♂r | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Josaa | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✪Stylish | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Wolfie | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | ♣Int3rcept♂r | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Josaa | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | ToTinHo25 | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Papi | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Wolfie | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Papi | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Wolfie | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♣Int3rcept♂r | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪Stylish | 25 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | ToTinHo25 | 23 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Papi | +1.90 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | Josaa | +1.57 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | ToTinHo25 | +1.29 | 47 | 53 |
| #4 | Wolfie | +1.18 | 83 | 63 |
| #5 | ✪Stylish | +1.16 | 52 | 63 |





