








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9372 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6558 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 6660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,739 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 799 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pillow Princess | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | hotel | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | FRAQ-KTR | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | mr.whiskers | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | DJ Jungle Deadly | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DohBoy | 962 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | DJ Jungle Deadly | 331 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | hotel | 269 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | FRAQ-KTR | 228 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | mr.whiskers | 180 | 0.11 | 5 min |





