








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 24% |
| Smokes | 627 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 261 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,459 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | VuuZaa . | 47% | 38 |
| #11 | blanks | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | cOne! | 43% | 23 |
| #13 | Psychedelic Samurai | 40% | 10 |
| #14 | Siblik | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rraul | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | cOne! | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | donk666 | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Siblik | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Fr0g | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kristo... | +2.89 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | martxd | +2.06 | 80 | 42 |
| #3 | KARUdx | +1.53 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | rraul | +1.26 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | donk666 | +1.20 | 78 | 63 |





