








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 2,002 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 166 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6098 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6734 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5504 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5092 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,590,080 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ MELLE ✪ | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | FrYヅ | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | aluCard | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | BR00R | 54% | 85 |
| #5 | Femboy Kisses Luring | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤QueenMossan✪ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | BR00R | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Femboy Kisses Luring | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | aluCard | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | FrYヅ | 2 | 0.0024 |





