








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Esplay | 26 matches | 1,813 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4262 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2474 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2444 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2640 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,980 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1045 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredde^^ | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | SF'100% - REJmo | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | iiiddan<33 | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Preztor | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | pzych0 ♿ | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V4GU5 | 44 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | RaGster | 36 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | pzych0 ♿ | 26 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | Stitch | 16 | 0.0260 |
| #5 | In$ane | 10 | 0.0218 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaGster | 603 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | pzych0 ♿ | 414 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | V4GU5 | 309 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sluggot | 197 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | fredde^^ | 136 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredde^^ | +4.17 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | In$ane | +3.98 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | MatteR ☕ | +3.36 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | SF'100% - REJmo | +2.42 | 67 | 44 |
| #5 | Preztor | +1.75 | 74 | 71 |





