








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1346 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2202 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2679 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,226 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insane Soul | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | gooch | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | monky | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Monke | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | Woehey | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | monky | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Monke | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | Woehey | 50% | 143 |
| #6 | bran | 48% | 159 |
| #7 | lij | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woehey | 35 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | bran | 28 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | gooch | 13 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Monke | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | monky | 8 | 0.0212 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bran | 429 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Woehey | 352 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | gooch | 133 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Monke | 109 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Insane Soul | 61 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | +4.50 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | Woehey | +3.56 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | monky | +3.54 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | gooch | +2.32 | 83 | 59 |
| #5 | bran | +1.39 | 74 | 63 |





