








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2776 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2989 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3001 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2625 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,424 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Když koření voní | 52% | 63 |
| #8 | FEN1NNN | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | KOKYy | 48% | 95 |
| #10 | Fr0d00000 | 47% | 19 |
| #11 | Major79 | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayk3M v metafly bundě | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Když koření voní | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | FEN1NNN | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayk3M v metafly bundě | 470 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | KOKYy | 407 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | way2hay | 187 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Když koření voní | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Algor1Tmus | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |





