








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5550 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6760 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4792 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4976 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,845,162 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | fairsky | 51% | 41 |
| #11 | Jepu | 48% | 80 |
| #12 | gua ketemu citer berapa kali anj | 47% | 159 |
| #13 | Teiwaz | 42% | 122 |
| #14 | Rey | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fairsky | 621 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | kai | 538 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | ArmsDestr™ | アリア | 356 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | gua ketemu citer berapa kali anj | 348 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Joy | 281 | 0.11 | 7 min |





