








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1869 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2657 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3951 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,551,667 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kp_plus | 61% | 170 |
| #2 | drink.gamble.sleep.repeat | 61% | 157 |
| #3 | Fredrick G Pinglebottom | 59% | 173 |
| #4 | Emojier | 58% | 86 |
| #5 | notouch | 58% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kp_plus | 40 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | drink.gamble.sleep.repeat | 39 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | ;t1pper | 32 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | syber | 32 | 0.0331 |
| #5 | Fredrick G Pinglebottom | 24 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ;t1pper | 1252 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #2 | kp_plus | 619 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | drink.gamble.sleep.repeat | 471 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fredrick G Pinglebottom | 300 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | notouch | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |





