










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 7% |
| Smokes | 315 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 967 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 335 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,162,244 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john brave | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | asian ye | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | Gay Uncle | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | frootloop | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | B3RRA | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gay Uncle | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | frootloop | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | B3RRA | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | k r o n k | 37% | 41 |
| #7 | Simply leaf | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john brave | 8 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | k r o n k | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | frootloop | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | asian ye | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Gay Uncle | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asian ye | 218 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gay Uncle | 128 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Simply leaf | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | B3RRA | 31 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | john brave | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asian ye | +3.10 | 70 | 49 |
| #2 | Gay Uncle | +1.37 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | iFanta | +0.89 | 81 | 22 |
| #4 | B3RRA | -1.01 | 45 | 39 |
| #5 | k r o n k | -1.07 | 52 | 30 |





