








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
75 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 54 | 16% |
| Smokes | 89 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 89 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 108 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,272 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaboV | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Caerbannog | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | ♞ MrFlaszka ♞ | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | ♞Kam1on3k♞ | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Fabian | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaboV | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Caerbannog | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | ♞ MrFlaszka ♞ | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | ♞Kam1on3k♞ | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Fabian | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♞ MrFlaszka ♞ | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaboV | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | Caerbannog | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | ♞ MrFlaszka ♞ | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | ♞Kam1on3k♞ | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fabian | 4 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caerbannog | +2.09 | 83 | 33 |
| #2 | DaboV | +0.57 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | ●dodo● | -0.86 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | ♞ MrFlaszka ♞ | -0.95 | 56 | 45 |
| #5 | ♞Kam1on3k♞ | -2.05 | 61 | 51 |





