










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1491 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1676 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,818 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaede | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | MiniCompactAC | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | BinaryBrawler55 | 49% | 190 |
| #4 | Recklesss | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Cool Wheezer | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaede | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | MiniCompactAC | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | BinaryBrawler55 | 49% | 190 |
| #4 | Recklesss | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Cool Wheezer | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BinaryBrawler55 | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Recklesss | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | MiniCompactAC | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Kaede | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BinaryBrawler55 | 324 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Recklesss | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kaede | 54 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | MiniCompactAC | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cool Wheezer | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BinaryBrawler55 | +2.39 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | MiniCompactAC | -0.09 | 70 | 20 |
| #3 | Recklesss | -0.19 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | evil ass skeleton dude | -1.36 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Kaede | -1.97 | 77 | 40 |





