








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3328 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1711 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,629 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huilu | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Styxxx Youngbone | 44% | 278 |
| #3 | Jeff51 | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | Follando Alonso | 43% | 99 |
| #5 | Hivie | 42% | 192 |





