








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2160 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,723 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CambodianCum | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | max | 49% | 209 |
| #3 | B.O.T.S. | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | nico | 43% | 107 |
| #5 | steve | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | 477 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | nico | 124 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | steve | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | CambodianCum | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | B.O.T.S. | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | +1.41 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | B.O.T.S. | +1.41 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | CambodianCum | +0.99 | 46 | 44 |
| #4 | nico | +0.82 | 56 | 50 |
| #5 | Law Dropout | -0.66 | 66 | 36 |





