








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2428 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3562 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2259 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1946 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,185 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gortar #KvT | 154 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | °•𝖭ǻʈǻ𝕤•°𒆜 #KvT | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | kev2k #KvT | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yehneen | 112 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Poïpoï | 99 | 0.26 | 3 min |





