








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2177 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1489 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1562 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,807 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nirwetiel | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | le pigeon | 45% | 113 |
| #5 | NatUR3 | 45% | 65 |
| #6 | Mercedes AMG | 42% | 64 |
| #7 | J4pi3rd0le13 | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le pigeon | 22 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | 7iemowit | 19 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Mercedes AMG | 18 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Nirwetiel | 13 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | NatUR3 | 11 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7iemowit | 397 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #2 | le pigeon | 272 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nirwetiel | 194 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | NatUR3 | 185 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mercedes AMG | 149 | 0.11 | 3 min |





