










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1445 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1247 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2174 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,556 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「feinštimētājs」 | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | maarcHijs | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Panda | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | NĀVE | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Nicky V | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maarcHijs | 512 | 0.32 | 16 min |
| #2 | Panda | 331 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | 「feinštimētājs」 | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | NĀVE | 122 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | DjimNotMoki | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |





