








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7392 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6575 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5011 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5215 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,246 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NegativKevin | 57% | 200 |
| #2 | JMB | 57% | 533 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NegativKevin | 57% | 200 |
| #2 | JMB | 57% | 533 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMB | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | NegativKevin | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMB | 684 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #2 | NegativKevin | 376 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slayyzz. | +2.02 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | JMB | +0.11 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | NegativKevin | -0.77 | 85 | 66 |





