








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 574 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1313 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 908 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,307 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skrypt | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | xtcmolly | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Judo Jack Attack | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | bob | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | jedi | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xtcmolly | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Judo Jack Attack | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | bob | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | jedi | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | ZeroRecoil | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtcmolly | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Judo Jack Attack | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | bob | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Skrypt | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | 142 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skrypt | 118 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | xtcmolly | 95 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Judo Jack Attack | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | jedi | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skrypt | +4.43 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | bob | +3.65 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | xtcmolly | +1.72 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Judo Jack Attack | +1.09 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | jedi | -0.00 | 62 | 61 |





