








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 786 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2322 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5185 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4415 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3288 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,131,378 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wehushi Sushi | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | Ploxo | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | mave | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | thedevilph | 40% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wehushi Sushi | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | Ploxo | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | mave | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | thedevilph | 40% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thedevilph | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | mave | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wehushi Sushi | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ploxo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mave | 357 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ploxo | 234 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Wehushi Sushi | 220 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | thedevilph | 71 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mave | +1.20 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | Wehushi Sushi | +0.91 | 62 | 55 |
| #3 | Aart | +0.12 | 55 | 41 |
| #4 | Ploxo | -1.23 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | thedevilph | -2.13 | 36 | 38 |





