








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1707 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3171 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2889 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,713,955 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JutiLeLe | 50% | 34 |
| #2 | A.B.L.O.Y | 50% | 149 |
| #3 | Kalle :D | 48% | 421 |
| #4 | tumelius | 48% | 292 |
| #5 | karrikissa | 47% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalle :D | 26 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | tumelius | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | karrikissa | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | A.B.L.O.Y | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | JutiLeLe | 6 | 0.0084 |





