








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1862 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1462 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,521 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham1sk | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Win to Pay | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | fat cat | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham1sk | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Win to Pay | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | fat cat | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fat cat | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ham1sk | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Win to Pay | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Win to Pay | 266 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ham1sk | 213 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #3 | fat cat | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham1sk | +3.07 | 79 | 78 |
| #2 | ✪DerpyFattyS | +2.08 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | fat cat | +0.29 | 52 | 61 |
| #4 | Win to Pay | -1.27 | 30 | 62 |





