








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1602 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2245 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2467 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2500 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,381 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTV@CHOPPER_RULE | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | D33jay007 | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Toppie | 47% | 210 |
| #4 | KaenaScorpion | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | bear | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | D33jay007 | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Toppie | 47% | 210 |
| #4 | KaenaScorpion | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | bear | 33% | 27 |
| #6 | CuBe | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toppie | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | CuBe | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | KaenaScorpion | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | D33jay007 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toppie | 939 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | KaenaScorpion | 148 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | bear | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | TTV@CHOPPER_RULE | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | D33jay007 | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TTV@CHOPPER_RULE | +2.19 | 47 | 48 |
| #2 | Jaystream 92 !!! | +1.20 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | D33jay007 | +0.57 | 50 | 49 |
| #4 | Toppie | +0.57 | 45 | 62 |
| #5 | KaenaScorpion | -0.09 | 39 | 58 |





