








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16950 | 53% |
| Smokes | 6461 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6650 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1833 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,470 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dageaux | 52% | 157 |
| #6 | Dirty Bong Water | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | teej | 50% | 157 |
| #8 | jazzy | 50% | 133 |
| #9 | goreb | 47% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WillyMyWonkaBar | +2.79 | 60 | 70 |
| #2 | Templeton | +2.16 | 57 | 53 |
| #3 | SystemOfADowns | +1.94 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | teej | +0.89 | 74 | 23 |
| #5 | fawaz | +0.58 | 64 | 34 |





