








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 626 | 28% |
| Smokes | 620 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 841 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,958 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛自殺小九九♚ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Ace Boi | 62% | 66 |
| #3 | 9RANT | 58% | 78 |
| #4 | Y1sbOo | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | JᴀʏMᴇʜ | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ace Boi | 62% | 66 |
| #3 | 9RANT | 58% | 78 |
| #4 | Y1sbOo | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | JᴀʏMᴇʜ | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | Jerry | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9RANT | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Ace Boi | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ♛自殺小九九♚ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9RANT | 395 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ace Boi | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♛自殺小九九♚ | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Y1sbOo | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | JᴀʏMᴇʜ | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JᴀʏMᴇʜ | +5.59 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Ivy Moss | +1.68 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | 9RANT | +0.58 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | ♛自殺小九九♚ | -1.00 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | Ace Boi | -1.39 | 43 | 63 |





