








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1910 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1406 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1982 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1121 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,094 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rick | 50% | 121 |
| #6 | KelaKala | 47% | 78 |
| #7 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | Kana | 46% | 57 |
| #9 | Pikkanemiäs | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KelaKala | 290 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | rick | 287 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 116 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pikkanemiäs | 93 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | lxrd | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |





