








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 590 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7538 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7846 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6842 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4500 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,424,088 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElChulio | 49% | 492 |
| #2 | FuckingDecent | 47% | 270 |
| #3 | [ Yuko ] | 47% | 158 |
| #4 | CloudZ | 43% | 116 |
| #5 | AssiChron | 42% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElChulio | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FuckingDecent | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | CloudZ | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | AssiChron | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | [ Yuko ] | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingDecent | 546 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | AssiChron | 378 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | [ Yuko ] | 318 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | ElChulio | 306 | 0.03 | 9 min |
| #5 | CloudZ | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | € José David Figueroa Agosto | +1.60 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | [ Yuko ] | +0.26 | 48 | 56 |
| #3 | ElChulio | -0.22 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | CloudZ | -0.42 | 51 | 46 |
| #5 | FuckingDecent | -0.48 | 54 | 51 |





