








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5559 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5750 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3917 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2614 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,363,942 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2932 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sejaspalma | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Tavas Mammas Draugs | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sejaspalma | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Tavas Mammas Draugs | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sejaspalma | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tavas Mammas Draugs | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | sejaspalma | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ crytex | +2.15 | 50 | 57 |
| #2 | sejaspalma | +1.92 | 45 | 47 |
| #3 | Tavas Mammas Draugs | +0.81 | 61 | 51 |





