










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3708 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2482 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2636 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,596 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talosc | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | n1kze | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Lazy Boner | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | PIKETERS | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | NOFX (= | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talosc | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | n1kze | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Lazy Boner | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | PIKETERS | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | NOFX (= | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talosc | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | NOFX (= | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy Boner | 233 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Talosc | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | NOFX (= | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | n1kze | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | PIKETERS | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1kze | +4.29 | 92 | 51 |
| #2 | Talosc | +3.26 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | -R- | +0.80 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Lazy Boner | -1.84 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | NOFX (= | -2.32 | 44 | 69 |





