








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2036 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1909 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1824 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,569 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Fireb- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Turbos Skeron | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | LifesizePenguin | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Don Chepe | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Fireb- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Turbos Skeron | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | LifesizePenguin | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Don Chepe | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Chepe | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifesizePenguin | 72 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | BOB | 64 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Turbos Skeron | 56 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Don Chepe | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fireb- | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +2.04 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | Crovv | +1.40 | 81 | 77 |
| #3 | Fireb- | -0.28 | 55 | 60 |
| #4 | Don Chepe | -0.51 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | LifesizePenguin | -0.87 | 59 | 61 |





