








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4033 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4295 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3440 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4536 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,793 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulbo | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Sheriff Garcia | 49% | 175 |
| #3 | Gumli | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | IdZo™ | 47% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulbo | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Sheriff Garcia | 49% | 175 |
| #3 | Gumli | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | IdZo™ | 47% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheriff Garcia | 22 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | IdZo™ | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Gumli | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Bulbo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IdZo™ | 493 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sheriff Garcia | 401 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Bulbo | 110 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gumli | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QLR- | +1.44 | 64 | 64 |
| #2 | Sheriff Garcia | +1.04 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Gumli | -0.00 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Bulbo | -0.10 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | IdZo™ | -1.53 | 46 | 70 |





