








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,699 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5748 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4976 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3159 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2886 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,484,519 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thäd | 1243 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | huntari960 | 447 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | ihmispitsa | 271 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mean Machine | 269 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #5 | eetuoniso | 127 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eetuoniso | +2.21 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Kazzuboii | +1.44 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Thäd | +1.01 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | ihmispitsa | +0.22 | 44 | 73 |
| #5 | Mean Machine | -0.42 | 53 | 81 |





