








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2593 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2336 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1903 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,723 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jijon | 42% | 248 |
| #2 | Cijon | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Eijon | 38% | 45 |
| #4 | Kijon | 36% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jijon | 42% | 248 |
| #2 | Cijon | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Eijon | 38% | 45 |
| #4 | Kijon | 36% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jijon | 46 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Kijon | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Eijon | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jijon | 968 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | Eijon | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cijon | 76 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kijon | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jijon | +1.59 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | Kijon | +1.08 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | Cijon | +0.85 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | Tijon | -2.15 | 32 | 62 |
| #5 | Eijon | -2.54 | 21 | 56 |





