










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 81 | 4% |
| Smokes | 321 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1016 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,564 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearowns | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Tylenol Child | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | LadiesMan217 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | DingusApproved | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearowns | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Tylenol Child | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | LadiesMan217 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | DingusApproved | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearowns | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | LadiesMan217 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Tylenol Child | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearowns | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tylenol Child | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | DingusApproved | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | LadiesMan217 | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingusApproved | +5.00 | 76 | 39 |
| #2 | Gearowns | +4.36 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | LadiesMan217 | +3.23 | 83 | 30 |
| #4 | dur de dur de durrrr | +1.39 | 63 | 30 |
| #5 | Tylenol Child | -4.17 | 35 | 48 |





